Sunday, November 26, 2006

for the first time when i'm 23

soundtrack: Chizh & Co - Krugom Taiga
mood: smokin' hookah, drinkin vodka

this is the first post when i'm 23. yes, this past friday i turned 23. what an age! those birthdays make me feel sort of bitter-sweet. on one hand a year has passed and i've learned more, on the other hand one year less to live. anyhow, this birthday was very nice. i've spent it surrounded by my old friends and it has been really good - drinking, joking, talking. as they say: you'll spent your next year the way you've met it and if the coming year means being surrended by old friends while drinking and joking - i say yes!
now on the other note, i'm kinda sad that since i've broken up with my old girlfriend, i've become closed and caucious about people. it's really weird, but it's just not the same anymore. i think all the girls i meet, i don't make an appealing performance anymore. the bizzare thing is that i'm just too scared to open up - i've done it once and got hurt by this woman who doesn't even understand it and who still keeps on writing me occasional emails, thinking that things are fine and we should re-start talking. no fucking way! you've gone too far, darlin - make me open up, hurt me and then expect to be friends and all. thanks but no thanks.
fuck, it seems like i'm using this place as some kind of area where to get my bitterness out. even if i do - who cares, barely anybody reads it!

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